truth's all i want..

defenses.
they are low.
and taking time to rebuild.
sometimes there're splurts of life
and things fall back in to place..
sometimes i fall back
and tear them back down..
with my own two hands..

i was thinking this morning..
or rather asking myself
"is He really worth it?
...is He really enough for you?"
if He never blessed me..
if my life sucked...
...and was filled with nothing but pain
and discouragement..
would knowing Him be enough?
being with Him...is that enough?

deep cries out to deep..

it could only be You..
who else could call to my soul...
from the depths of the darkness ..
the dryness of these walls that i've built ..
these distractions i've run to..

i've tasted Your sweetness..
Your life..
and my heart can't just...
drop it...
even this..
this is Your doing..

oh but You already know..
how fickle my heart is..
how quickly i run to ...them
how my heart longs for this...or that..
or what just being with You
couldn't possibly fill...

but You're IT
You have to be...there's nothing else..
nothing else..

i think...i miss You..
sorry i've been gone for so long..
i've missed You..