oh Jesus help me to see that my only life..
...that abundant life...
is in You...

motives.

on Saturday instead of encouragement...rebuke.
what were my motives?
what are my motives?
am i really doing this for You....or for my own gain?

a call to examine...to analyze...
my depth...my heart.
check-up.

but how?
how do you check yourself every minute of every day..
...without becoming legalistic..
or hopeless in sorrow?
or exhausted?
or prideful?
or judgmental?
....or a hypocrite?
hm

wwJd?

what are you trying to tell me?

i honestly just want to throw in the towel.
im beginning to think that its less of what im doing wrong..
and more of that...its me that's wrong..

maybe im not supposed to be doing this...
and this is God's way of showing me...

i dunno...
i...just..dont know what to do..