havent blogged in a while...and i miss it..
however, i don't think that im quite ready to go back to tumblr...so many eyes.
eyes that i love no doubt...but eyes nonetheless..
3:33am. whyyy am i blogging when in less than 5 hours i must awake for leader's?
oi.

so many things have transpired since i've last posted..
silence...lots o silence happened...and dryness..but no thirst..
then a thirst for thirst and then desperation..fear set in..
more silence and distancing..turning away...forsaking..
but then..movement, a Word..healing and joy..
and now i return to dryness...but this time with a desperate thirst...
with a longing, but true to my sinfulness, no action.
le sigh.

an older sister and i have had interesting convos regarding the brothers in my life.
enough said.
self-imposed and sisterly encouraged double red lights.
admittingly i was scared to shut such a door...but through the weeks..
im realizing that the Tomi that i am now is no where near ready for a green light..
no where near.
regardless, that doesnt mean my heart understands that fact.
once again, enough said.

maybe...just perhaps...some alone time is in need.
some alone time without phone. internet. and...haha people..
to think. to write. to read. to pray.
i dont like being alone...