OMG.
i dreamt that i was getting married.

well i actually remember the first part of the dream..
a bunch of us were going away some place..
think cabin-trip-esque
i remember quite clearly
that outside in a parking lot, one of the guys got really warm
and attempted to take off his undershirt
but took off his shirt accidentally
and the girls cooed and called
it was weird.
really weird.
i remember he said...pretty embarrassed "...omg..its not that impressive, guys"
then i remember this montage of guys with no shirt..
but when this was happening i remember thinking..
"wat da hail."
then then it cuts to a scene before my wedding ceremony..
we were about to leave our getaway...
and then all of a sudden i was getting ready for the ceremony..
i remember that i was holding up the entire thing because i couldnt find a pen?
them my brothers came to see about me and help me find a pen
then an "older sister" from the farrr past came to help me and give me advice
and to see if i was ready to get married..
we found a purple pen that i rejected at first...
but ended up accepting..
i don't really know why i needed a pen so badly..
then i remember going into a room and praying..
i remember telling God "this is all happening so fast..."
then i remember rushing out to the place where everyone was..
and putting down a long carpet..
then the groom said to me "don't worry about" and smiled..
then....i remember going to the back of the room...right outside to get ready to walk down the aisle
i remember thinking at the end there "OMG WHAT AM I DOING???"
and i started panicking...
i remember thinking that this was nowhere near how i dreamt that my wedding would be...
my parents weren't there...
the place where were having the ceremony was cruddy and dank
and the ceremony itself was...kinda small and mediocre
i remember church fam being there..
well more specifically p.josh and p.nate..
then i remember the minister had us open up in prayer..
i remember sort of collapsing to my knees, dress and all
and asking God if i was making a mistake..
[omg im sweating writing this]
then i remember seeing flashes of pictures of the future
where we were out and about with other ppl...at church events...and stuff
and we were happy and i remember imagining our dynamic while attending those events..
and i felt better..
i also remember p. nate talking about going to the gift shop and had bomi go with him
....i think he and another pastor had a bet about falling asleep first..
since they both didnt sleep the night before?
i...dunno...
then my alarm went off and my mother came into my room.
wat. da. hail.

i remember that i knew the guy..
our relationship was cordial...and...sweet...
i remember knowing who he was...
but for the life of me
i can't remember his face..
or name..

sigh.