lullaby

tell me a lullaby
sing me a story..
hold me tight and rock me until we're floating
enveloped in your scent..
drifting among the clouds..hidden in the fog

sleep and forget my darling..
forget the day...but remember the happiness
swallow the warmth..let it sit in your tummy..
and bubble into a smile..
dream in sweet melodies..my love..
paint a picture with your heart..

wallow with me..
until the lines flow together..blurry bliss
heaviness draws me back..
and covers me in comfort..
sleep my darling..

man.
soo..close to tears right now..
ive made soo many mistakes this semester..

you know how you pass the scene of a car accident
and you slow down, and shake your head
and though its sad and terrible to look at..
you cant look away?
my semester in a nutshell..
im was determined to rock this last week and end this semester with a bang...

but if its not "this"...then its "that"..
and if its not me...
wait, no, its always me..
its like i cant get a break..
nor do i seem to deserve one..
sigh.
i just want to crawl into a corner and escape.
so close to saying.."im done, i give up..."
soo close.

free range..

well...i regret to say that i feel as though ive gone full circle..
sigh..there's always something...
...who am I?
ive been wondering that for like the past week..
am i REALLY genuine, or am i a randomized collection of my friend's mannerisms..thoughts...actions..
in human form?
even when im by myself.. i.don't.know.
monday, we talked about our function in the church..
i dont know mine yet, nor had i thought much about it, before monday
i guess...
...i think
um...let's just go with "i don't know, and i'm lost".... again.
sigh....there's always...something




...exactly