hahaha..heeheehee..come.on.get.silly.and.laugh.with.me

laughter..
i swear its like the most amazing thing ever
especially when its genuine and comes from deep inside..

like when you fall over and your tummy starts hurting....or
when you start crying....or when you laugh so hard your voice goes silent..

and then afterwards, its like "ahhhhhh"

its like the nectar of my being
the protector of my sanity..
or the indicator of my lack thereof..

after all Proverbs 17:22 states:
"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones"

i intend wholeheartedly to increase my laughter..
i implore you to do the same :]

kisses for yoouuuu [muaahz!]
-tomisaurus

epiphany.

so..i had a long talk with a good friend of mine yesterday evening
that really sent me off on a thinking tangent, if there is such a thing..
relationships, more specifically romantic relationships..
i guess i have/had thought about it quite a bit, but i feel like its just now sinking in..

1. Its pretty goshdarn serious.Courtship:
So apparently I mistook the definition of this word to mean:
"Hey"...
"Hey?"...
"So I spoke to your father and we have an arrangement concerning our marraige"
"WHAT? I dont even like you....like not even a little bit... like not at all...!"...
"No, but you shall soon.... my bride.."
"O_o "
bahaha...yeaa...YEAA
so as you guessed i wasnt for that at allllll... but after research and reexamination, i find that its so much more than that...

• a. there is an element of attraction, no doubt ...but its not lustful and its not the basis of the relationship/courtship
• b. its an honest and open sort of evaluation of the situation, with marraige as the intent/goal/outcome, without emotional involvement [yea im still digging through that one].
• c. committment & communication.
• d. parental involvement is important...they say "the apple doesnt fall from the tree" eh? im still struggling with this one...pray for me.
• e. love. i've read stuff that say that this should come last and is a decision and blahsyblahsyblaaah...but im still working on loving vertically...so i'll get back to you on that..

2. its nothing that I should be looking for: a good friend shared something with me that her mother shared with her..Proverbs 18:22 says "He that find a wife finds what is good and recieves favor from the Lord"
note that is clearly states HE who finds a wife..not SHE who finds a husband..
honestly..honestly that takes a loooaaad off me...when its supposed to happen He'll come plain and simple.

3. its nothing to rush into: takes thinking, discussion...and prayer...and lots of it!

all in all i just want to have what God wants for me...after all, He knows me best and knows what i need...
i know for myself that im no where near ready for such a relationship...my heart and mind need a bit more work..did i mention pray for me?

i must say that writing this post has given me sort of a peace..im still like freaking out and digesting, if you will, but i feel more at peace that some of the guesswork is gone...and i know that when that special guy comes along his view on this subject will be dangerously similar...if not the same..and that in itself gives me peace.

kisses for youu [muahz!]
-tomisaurus

update.

so my recent posts have been pretty vague
...and depressing >_>
honestly im not completely sure what's been going on with me
i've been up and down in my Faith and im still not sure where i stand..
i havent REALLY had quiet time on my own in a while..

you could say that my heart is broken..or rather torn..
with all the crap going on at home..
as well as my personal insecurity..
idk.
but there's soooo much other stuff going on in the world
stuff that's sooo much worse..
and all i can focus on is me.. bleh
BLEH

everything's just so wrooooong.

wow..
so it all comes out to:
i suck at life
& at being a decent person -_-
...

im definitely torturing my heart right now..
bahahahhaha..and i can laugh about it..
that's a good sign..
right?

frickin.frackin.emotions.
smh

oi...its soo easy to forget the amazing things
but so hard...OH so hard to let go of the...not-so-amazing
to say the least..

its so easy to feel forgotten...misplaced
but so hard to remember that you are loved..







...oi