epiphany.

so..i had a long talk with a good friend of mine yesterday evening
that really sent me off on a thinking tangent, if there is such a thing..
relationships, more specifically romantic relationships..
i guess i have/had thought about it quite a bit, but i feel like its just now sinking in..

1. Its pretty goshdarn serious.Courtship:
So apparently I mistook the definition of this word to mean:
"Hey"...
"Hey?"...
"So I spoke to your father and we have an arrangement concerning our marraige"
"WHAT? I dont even like you....like not even a little bit... like not at all...!"...
"No, but you shall soon.... my bride.."
"O_o "
bahaha...yeaa...YEAA
so as you guessed i wasnt for that at allllll... but after research and reexamination, i find that its so much more than that...

• a. there is an element of attraction, no doubt ...but its not lustful and its not the basis of the relationship/courtship
• b. its an honest and open sort of evaluation of the situation, with marraige as the intent/goal/outcome, without emotional involvement [yea im still digging through that one].
• c. committment & communication.
• d. parental involvement is important...they say "the apple doesnt fall from the tree" eh? im still struggling with this one...pray for me.
• e. love. i've read stuff that say that this should come last and is a decision and blahsyblahsyblaaah...but im still working on loving vertically...so i'll get back to you on that..

2. its nothing that I should be looking for: a good friend shared something with me that her mother shared with her..Proverbs 18:22 says "He that find a wife finds what is good and recieves favor from the Lord"
note that is clearly states HE who finds a wife..not SHE who finds a husband..
honestly..honestly that takes a loooaaad off me...when its supposed to happen He'll come plain and simple.

3. its nothing to rush into: takes thinking, discussion...and prayer...and lots of it!

all in all i just want to have what God wants for me...after all, He knows me best and knows what i need...
i know for myself that im no where near ready for such a relationship...my heart and mind need a bit more work..did i mention pray for me?

i must say that writing this post has given me sort of a peace..im still like freaking out and digesting, if you will, but i feel more at peace that some of the guesswork is gone...and i know that when that special guy comes along his view on this subject will be dangerously similar...if not the same..and that in itself gives me peace.

kisses for youu [muahz!]
-tomisaurus