im procrastinating.

why yes I am. :]
no,no I meant why, yes...I am.. :/
yea..
chem sucks [period]
kinda feel like my social life is in shambles. oh well.
things change. people change, me included.
being by myself for a while will do me some good I suppose?

. . . . . . .

I shall stop before I depress myself.
chem here I come!
no kisses.
no hugs.
just this:
-tomisaurus

I need to reset my heart.

reminiscent. I read back over a few of my previous posts. wow. :) I have alot to be thankful for...

Ms. Black and Gold was last night...Frankie didn't win :/...Bukie did...and I honestly believed that she earned and deserved it. So proud of all of the ladies that performed :)
Last night also made me think of two things 1. How do we measure friendship? 2. Act wisely..

1. How do we measure friendship?
Some of Frankie's friends who I assumed would be at the pageant weren't. I wholeheartedly believe that if someone can drive from Kennesaw to see her friend in a pageant and others can't drive, nor take the shuttle from Covington...something isn't....right..
I wonder what Jesus would think of a situation like this...how would He react?
What would I do?

2. Act wisely..
One of the young ladies in the pageant sang an original song, admittedly she did attack the task quite timidly...she was utterly embarrassed by the crowd's lack of ability to control her laughter.. :/
I personally would have been crying my little eyes out afterward. she wasn't...for that, I applaud her.
How many times have I laughed out loud at someone...without thinking as to how he or she would react? How many times do I do things without any consideration to the other party's feelings? I believe that this comes with pride...good heavens..Lord help me..
act..wisely

on a lighter note :)
Chippy and I designated today to be our "Spring Cleaning/Packing" day..lol its 12:24 pm at this moment..Chippy's asleep, and I'm blogging...we're going to a concert at 2:30...bahaha Fail? we'll see..

hmmm..today its raining..there's something calming about rain..there's also something somber about the rain..

A kid from my hs graduating class died yesterday.. :( I didn't really know him and the memories that I have of him...were those of him making fun of me. :/ I don't know what to feel.
Of course, I'm not heartless, nor cold-hearted, so sadness no doubt is an evoked emotion, but am I grieving? What's wrong with me? Maybe my heart..my mind hasn't recognized it yet?
hm...I think its starting to sink in...this has nothing to do with me..a life has been lost...a mother is without her son, a family without their beloved..Lord comfort them. Its a grave thing it is to see life lost at such a young age...to gun violence..a split second decision at a high price..there's a lesson to be learned in this...cherish life. not only your life, but the life of others as well.
R.I.P. Richard "Richie" Timmons.

well. I havent blogged in a while. I have alot on my mind and on my heart. I should spill so I can focus this week.

-> There's not much time left in this school year. I have mixed feelings about that.
On one hand..I'm happy, no work for like 3 months.
On the other hand..I'm going to miss people, my plans for the summer are faaar from solidified, and idk I'm scared for my g.p.a.

-> My Faith. I'd like to say that I'm completely and undeniably strong in it...that I pray and read my Bible every day...but that's soo far from the truth. I want to love Him with ALL of my heart....
[scratch that.] mid thought...
I'm learning...thanks to a looooooooooooooooooong talk with Father..to TRUST Him, my future is in His hands, all that's left for me to do is trust Him...after all, He knows what He's doing, me...not so much lol. YAY! Thank You Lord! I'm going to make a promise to make time to talk to Him everyday...its a definite must...

->Lately I've been wanting a boo-face...bahaha..[boo-face]...idk maybe I'm just noticing all these couples around me and I'm like goshdarnit...when will it be my turn? in His time no doubt...but wheeen? and listening to Robin Thicke is definitely not helping lol.. I was talking to Frankie about it...she said nothing that I dont already know..."in His time" ...yes..I knooowww.. I guess I just havent really thought too much about it in a while..its a weird feeling with ups and downs...ups..because I know that when it does happen in God's time, it'll be juuuust right and just for me...and just the thought that my Father in heaven knows me so well and has created someone with me in mind..that will help me grow..and who I will learn from but also the opposite...I'll help him grow, and he'll learn from me :] ...downs, because I dont think I've met that person yet..and with that comes impatience, and with impatience come discouragement and doubt.. BOO.
..I like the little sweet things...I also like the BIG sweet things...I like touch. affection...when you see me in my own little world...interrupt me with a shower of your affection. I like compassion and thoughtfulness. cutesy things...not cutesy to the point of barf-worthy...but just sweet small gestures. touch my cheek. kiss my nose. just sit with me in silence. smiiile at me. lay with me in the field and stare at the stars. walk with me in through the park. eww...this is starting to get disgusting..lmbo yeaaa I'm sort of a hopeless romantic..we'll see what God'll do...yes?
merrrr I want a boo-faaaacceee.. fraaann crush..is dissipating...well its goshdarn near squasshed...talked to Shin-he about it..yea. its just a friend crush. merrr

sleep to dream. that's what I plan to do right now.
kisses for youuu [muahz]
tomisaurus

vent.

today sucked. BIG TIME. i hate chem. the situation pisssssed me off. i made a fool of my self...over. and over. and OVER. again. It's like I can't help it. everything little thing bugged me. no iron. wrinkly shirt. was late to class. no clicker. stupid Herschel. GAH! stupid situation. no service. boring lecturer. stupid feelings. merrrr. I tried, I honestly tried to redirect my energy, tried to think on God's will, on my Heavenly Father..then I got depressed thinking about WHYYY I'm at Emory. should i even be here? :/ then..THEN. i didn't see my sunshine Chippy after class :((( .bleh. Delta. great...i was feeling better...now im back to depressed.

Easter. HE IS RISEN!
so. I have something to confess: my heart hasnt been in the right place lately. i'm really not sure if it is now. last week was horriiiibllle...I waited WAY to long to finish that paper.. :/ Literally every moment of my day was filled with writing that darn paper. I refuse to step foot in the library this week. bleh. I lost focus. I know for sure that I was majorly disobedient. I skipped alot of class :/. prayer and devotion sparingly...such a baad week. This Easter weekend..I pray will get me refocused. Lord set my eyes on You, let my never again forget that you are still in control..regardless of what's going on.

Today: i was sooo bummed..I was crazy hurt, I thought Frankie and Ava had their dinner party without me. dude. on the verge of tears hurt. I still don't know whether or not they did. oh well.

Tonight: sooo much fun. dumplings. chopsticks. icecream. mafia/assassins?. praaayyyerrr. fraaan cruuush ;). laughter. I really don't know what it is about them. I really don't, but I thank God for them.

I've been wondering lately how I define friendship. Where do I belong? I've decided to work on my relationship with my Father in Heaven before answering that question.

I should skiddadle..
kisses for youuu [muaah]
tomisaurus