on sin.

lately, its been getting clearer
why God can't deal with sin..
why even small things.
He won't just overlook.

and it's beautiful..

small sins..
thoughts..longings.
turn into things..
and the things turn into monsters
that devour our life
and all those around us..

sin cannot be where perfection is...
its not possible..

another somewhat related idea
has also been getting clearer
that because of Jesus's sacrifice..
we don't have to be perfect..
but have been made perfect
through our faith in Him..
meaning..
it's not on us to do good things
to be good people..
so that we can escape damnation..
it's been done..
and my response is key..
oh what a gift..
oh the deeeep freedom!

hi Jesus,
so ...i just don't know..
like i have no idea
and i feel like crying
...but i feel dumb about that too..

...its been gone for a while now..
but i still feel all kinds of crazy.
ugh.

so please...
i'll be here..
because...i just can't.
i can't.

commufunk

i suspect that this is just a season..
another winter that will pass
atleast...that's the hope

who knew angsting about it
could lead to hope?
i love this place..
i know i do..
but right now..
everything inside is throwing a tantrum.

everything falls..
everything does..
it does..
but this
the Source of the stream
that tinkles inside my heart
i know He doesn't
He can't
it's not possible.

i'll wait.
and i will find you here...
even here.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—

I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me. 

-Emily Dickinson

i think ive stopped caring..
even more there's this desire
to rebel.

ugh.
stahpit.
ive probably already gone too far
i feel bad..
but not really...

i think im just acting out
...like a spoiled brat
who feels wronged..
just another expression of brokenness

ugh.
stahpit.

something else from tonight..
i don't think it to be a demand
more of a plea...
You can't just be in the places
where i run away to hide..
and not just in cincinnati either..
You have to be here too..
i have to find You here..
i will seek You here..