passion.

fleeting... fluttering..thoughts
they litter..

my head..
stupid ideas of romance
and passion and love
that fill my head and push out..
silence, make jest,  of the Truth..

sigh..but is it truly sin
to desire some sort of passion
no, not sexual..but..
some sort of strong all-consuming emotion
that runs one blind and careless in all other aspects
or must all be calculating..rigid...stiff

perhaps my desires are misplaced..
perhaps i dream and project what can never be..
what cannot be good
what cannot be healthy...
even more so what cannot be holy

i see blatantly
the lack of wisdom in my words..
in my desires..
i know You call for..
completion..wholly..holy..
solid.

perhaps there is another passion
that dives headlong into
ill logic...terrible reasoning
completely consuming..
utterly breathtaking..
raw..bleeding..unfettered beauty..
basic..basic...basic..
but so complex..
so intricate and involved
so..filling...every crevice
every crack..
no stone left un-turned
wholly encompassing....

well..hmm..
i guess You are the author of passion..
my definition of passion..
so far removed from the actual..
my desire..so misplaced..so limited..

but..so real to me..
so delightful in smell..
and sweet to sight..
i know deep down..
satisfaction is not the ending...
but more desire..more want..
more aching...
more hollowness..

i know..i know..

teach me freedom
oh Healer..
reveal to me the freedom..
in sweet and complete surrender..

oh Father
...even of this..