run

Hello, Mercy, I have been searching for You lately...

oh heart, if you would...be quiet..
actually..no
..your aches remind me that..this life..
this earth...will never satisfy..
that this earth..our world...is broken..
and no measure of mindless routine, chatter or entertainment
will ever fix it..
heal it...heal me..

Someone greater has to be in control.
im but a product of this broken world...
but in You, I'm redeemed..made new..
no more a product....but a new creation..

oh Lord...when will i believe this with my entire being..
i feel like running..but to where...to whom?
i know the answer to this one...
i've re-enacted it over and over in my head..
i need You...no...no
i need You..

so here i return...broken..
bleeding...bitter...shaken...dirty..
but hopeful..
You make all things new..right?
You make everything beautiful......right?
...i trust...You.
help me to trust You.

how foolish was i to have desired a "break"
in no way can the glimmers of this world fill the emptiness
the God-sized hole in my heart, my life...

nothing can substitute the love He gives..
can compare to knowing that He is mine and i am His...

the pleasures of this world are for but a moment..
a mere breath...so hollow and completely unlike and separate
from the fullness of His presence..

how foolish am i ...