guitar.

its a beautiful thing to be wrecked by the One
but a most terrible thing indeed..

He calls me..us to surrender..
let go of ourselves..
our very core of who we think we are..
what we think is best..
what we want the most..

man i don't think i really understand the concept..
yea sure, i'll give God my life..
...but only so i can get what i want..
..of course what i want is the glory of God..
as long as its on my terms and in the way that i want it...

oh man..like a wrecking ball to a glass house..
He came crashing..
and honestly it feels like my entire world has been made to dust..
i can't reconcile it
and in a way my heart is crushed..

now i just want to play..
until the strings cut my fingers
and make them burn and bleed
the way my heart is doing..
until its crooning matches the desperate groans of my soul..

i fear growing bitter, fearful
and odd enough complacent..
but..im excited...
..its weird..i feel like im dying..
like literally selling myself to something..
or rather Someone.. i can't control..
and don't understand..
but im excited...

im scared.
i really am
but..He wants it..?
He'll have it. all of it...all of me.