"all over the world
people just like us
calling Your name
living in Your love"

oh man this community

my heart is overflowing..
overjoyed

AH. thank You!

and how i await the day..
"when my faith shall be sight"..

when all things will be revealed
and my understanding deepened..

i have so much to ask You, Father..
i can't wait...

to live is Christ.

2 Corinth 4:16-17

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self[a] is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,"

this is Amazing Grace. 
again and again.

pt.2

oh God...this kingdom of Yours...
my heart is so overjoyed..
so full..
how can restoration...
true replenishment...
come from a place where your physical energy
is drained...day after day?

oh Your grace and love reaches far above where i can see or perceive.
i don't deserve such a glimpse..
but You gave and my heart is so glad..
so burdened...

and now the return..
soon the everyday will return..
the frustration..and the mundane..
but...my heart has been refreshed..
for hope to come from what's hopeless..
is by Your doing alone, oh Lord.
by Your infinite grace.

so faithful...i will be..
serve...i will..
pray...i will..
for You...through You..

she said "i can't wait to see how God is going to move,"
when i saw an end...
expectation of a new wave of God's power and love for His people...
oh God, You are good.

i must return...
"the same God that she experiences in OTR is the same God she can freely experience at home"

so grateful.

otr pt 2.

no other name,
Jesus, Jesus.

in a way i feel like im being crushed.
like the burden is too much..
so im giving in..and..well
i dont know that its much better...

funny how the burden still feels the same.

but.
the beatings were too many..
too many times..
why should i care?
i mean maybe you have to...because well..you know..
but me? i can leave. i can not care.
right?
but i suppose that You've called me to ssomething...more..

cast my burdens on You?
take on Your yolk?
i've heard that before..
sounds too easy..
it couldn't work..
it couldn't possibly be that easy.

well.
okay. i'll take Your word for it.
ha...i can already feel myself fighting to hold on
fighting to take the reigns..
to do it myself.

why are hearts so dumb?
i don't want to care so much
it hurts too much..
my heart..
oh Lord..
so heavy..

God i look to You..
i am overwhelmed...
give me vision...to see things like You do.
and wisdom...You know just what to do..

white flags er'where.
well...im trying anyways..

i remember reading somewhere 

something to the flavor of

...what if...all of our longings 

actually pointed to a higher longer..

like our longings for attention..love..sex..food..companionship..

what if all those longings were just echoes of our longing..

to be with the Father?

what if its a trail..

that leads home..

but instead of looking towards home..

im looking at the trail..

captivated by the trail..

enamored with the trail..

so i stop

and settle...for the trail..

like a postcard..

it reminds me of home..

brings some sense of comfort..

even makes me happy...

but its not the real deal.

only an echo..

pale in comparison..

so i wonder..

deeply hidden in these recent longings of mine..

what am i looking for?

attention? affirmation? comfort? rest?

oh...but to an echo i turn..

but..but..

those echos are there for reason too...right?