great.
now im divided.

i'd just like to throw up naow.

on one note:
maybe i am a skeptic,
maybe i've been hardened.
maybe its just protection..
expect nothing..
and it all gets easier.

on another note:
otr pt 5.
where are you, heart?

honesty..
blind and whole is what i desire the most..
but honesty i cannot give.
its too much..
they'll know.

and everything crumbled...
in like 2 days..
what.the.hell.

struck.

7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.

- 2 Corinthians 4:7

some days..
like today
i just wanna be Your baby..
crawl into Your lap
and sulk into Your warmth
until Your freedom becomes true to my heart.

i know i am to be a soldier
a servant...
but today i offer no pretense..
i am but a child..
immature and overwhelmed by myself..

i need Your warmth and embrace..
to be fed by You..

i feel so small.

exactly.

Psalm 25:20

20 "Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me!
    Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you."