gracious

oh Father..
im thankful..

You have shown me my ways.
my selfishness..

teach me.
oh Lover..
teach me how to love.

passion.

fleeting... fluttering..thoughts
they litter..

my head..
stupid ideas of romance
and passion and love
that fill my head and push out..
silence, make jest,  of the Truth..

sigh..but is it truly sin
to desire some sort of passion
no, not sexual..but..
some sort of strong all-consuming emotion
that runs one blind and careless in all other aspects
or must all be calculating..rigid...stiff

perhaps my desires are misplaced..
perhaps i dream and project what can never be..
what cannot be good
what cannot be healthy...
even more so what cannot be holy

i see blatantly
the lack of wisdom in my words..
in my desires..
i know You call for..
completion..wholly..holy..
solid.

perhaps there is another passion
that dives headlong into
ill logic...terrible reasoning
completely consuming..
utterly breathtaking..
raw..bleeding..unfettered beauty..
basic..basic...basic..
but so complex..
so intricate and involved
so..filling...every crevice
every crack..
no stone left un-turned
wholly encompassing....

well..hmm..
i guess You are the author of passion..
my definition of passion..
so far removed from the actual..
my desire..so misplaced..so limited..

but..so real to me..
so delightful in smell..
and sweet to sight..
i know deep down..
satisfaction is not the ending...
but more desire..more want..
more aching...
more hollowness..

i know..i know..

teach me freedom
oh Healer..
reveal to me the freedom..
in sweet and complete surrender..

oh Father
...even of this..

run

Hello, Mercy, I have been searching for You lately...

oh heart, if you would...be quiet..
actually..no
..your aches remind me that..this life..
this earth...will never satisfy..
that this earth..our world...is broken..
and no measure of mindless routine, chatter or entertainment
will ever fix it..
heal it...heal me..

Someone greater has to be in control.
im but a product of this broken world...
but in You, I'm redeemed..made new..
no more a product....but a new creation..

oh Lord...when will i believe this with my entire being..
i feel like running..but to where...to whom?
i know the answer to this one...
i've re-enacted it over and over in my head..
i need You...no...no
i need You..

so here i return...broken..
bleeding...bitter...shaken...dirty..
but hopeful..
You make all things new..right?
You make everything beautiful......right?
...i trust...You.
help me to trust You.

how foolish was i to have desired a "break"
in no way can the glimmers of this world fill the emptiness
the God-sized hole in my heart, my life...

nothing can substitute the love He gives..
can compare to knowing that He is mine and i am His...

the pleasures of this world are for but a moment..
a mere breath...so hollow and completely unlike and separate
from the fullness of His presence..

how foolish am i ...

Thnks Fr Th Mmrs

United Pursuit Presents: Michael Ketterer from United Pursuit on Vimeo.

full on "man is our God awesome" fests are the best. when i start to forget how amazing He is...moments like these..talks like these help me remember..and spark something deep inside..

in every sense of the word...He's Beautiful.

indescribable

Source: Hubblesite.org

Psalm 8:3-4: 3."When I look at Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4. what is man that You are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?"

moreso...who do WE think WE are?

sitting here at my little cubicle at work...with this ridiculous smile plastered on my face..but trembling inside...to know that the God...not a god..THE God of the universe...the One who made all of that stuff hanging and spinning and bursting and glowing, up and out there..came to die. not only came to die, but came to die a shameful...wretched death..for you and me...for everyone of us, in a Love that i thought i understood...

seriously though..we are so small...so...fragile..we should be completely insignificant and inconsequential for such a big and glorious God..furthermore...worthless to such a God, who goes far above and beyond to extend His love...and meets rejection and pride and hate....but He keeps...extending and reaching and poking and pulling and waiting...

it makes me want to curse its so ridiculous.

see that picture.....that...thing is floating...somewhere out there...being all glorious and mysterious-like
....and He made that..

oh fickle heart..

shush, just stop.
why must you play these sinister games with my mind?

...shh