hate.
that's it right there...i HATE this situation
sometimes...sometimes...i despise them both..
sometimes one...sometimes the other..
i HATE thinking about it.
but it exists..all around..
it keeps showing itself...
in phone calls...mealtimes..outings...
even in prayer..and praise and worship
i cant run away
but oh...
oh how i try..
"it shouldnt/doesnt affect you guys"
poppycock.
it destroyed...flattened everything i thought i knew about...
everything..
i HATE this.
inconsiderate.
stupid.
hypocritical.
annoying.
ugly....that's it..
i HATE this UGLY situation.
goodnight.
today..
right now even, I've been revisiting some old Hillsong albums..
stuff from the 90's..
it brings me back to when life was simpler...
we still lived in that little townhouse in College Park, GA
...back then there were only 5 of us..
we attended The Body of Christ Christian Church..
i attended Community Christian Academy..my best friend was Roger..
...gosh life was just so..simple and light..encased with love..
oh how i long to return...
i can see why we tend to dwell on the past...
right now even, I've been revisiting some old Hillsong albums..
stuff from the 90's..
it brings me back to when life was simpler...
we still lived in that little townhouse in College Park, GA
...back then there were only 5 of us..
we attended The Body of Christ Christian Church..
i attended Community Christian Academy..my best friend was Roger..
...gosh life was just so..simple and light..encased with love..
oh how i long to return...
i can see why we tend to dwell on the past...
checklist..
yea i have one..
1. dirty mouth? clean it up :]
2. find roger
3. pajama pants are for squares...
4. mike isberto + melissa polinar [on repeat]
5. nightlight
6. prayer
just thought i'd share.
had an interview today...for a jooob
pray that i get it pleasepleaseplease
i go now.
kisses for youuu! [muaahhz!]
roger sends kisses too.. :]
-tomisaurus
yea i have one..
1. dirty mouth? clean it up :]
2. find roger
3. pajama pants are for squares...
4. mike isberto + melissa polinar [on repeat]
5. nightlight
6. prayer
just thought i'd share.
had an interview today...for a jooob
pray that i get it pleasepleaseplease
i go now.
kisses for youuu! [muaahhz!]
roger sends kisses too.. :]
-tomisaurus
9
im led to think back on a sermon preached not about Saul's transformation to Paul, but on Ananias and his obedience..Ananias had to trust God's judgment and will completely...trust that im sure went contrary his human reasoning...
am i that obedient?
another thing that struck me is God's ability to change and use ANYONE...and we as God's children are called to love and accept all...those who call upon His name and those who do not..
but for those of us called by grace and faith to be apart of the body...are we ready to accept...ANYONE...despite past mistakes or actions?
consider Paul...he was notorious for persecuting Christians and yet...however when he turned to Christ...and began to declare the gospel..he was accepted...to an extent
by those he was accepted by...he became a brother and they did their best to protect and care for him..
are we doing the same?
idk..honestly i feel as though we think we are accepting...non-judgmental..but our actions and attitudes show otherwise..
would we love and take care of the former murderer as we would our other brothers and sisters in Christ..
we all fall short dont we? we're all leveled before the cross..sin is sin..
i think im struggling with this..no..
i know i am..especially when it comes to those closest to me..
Mark 6:4 syndrome no doubt..
sometimes i feel as though this way of life...is too hard...too much to live up to...so much to change...so much to be cognizant of..
wow...listen to me...
"we're all leveled at the cross"...right? but why?
because of Amazing Grace..only by grace...grace and faith are we saved..
that's it.
not by works.
i remember one thing that Juheon said during fg..."there's nothing you can do to make God love you more and nothing you can do to make God love you less"
He loves us regardless..
i'll end there..
something to ponder on..
kisses for yooouuu [muahz!]
-tomisaurus
im led to think back on a sermon preached not about Saul's transformation to Paul, but on Ananias and his obedience..Ananias had to trust God's judgment and will completely...trust that im sure went contrary his human reasoning...
am i that obedient?
another thing that struck me is God's ability to change and use ANYONE...and we as God's children are called to love and accept all...those who call upon His name and those who do not..
but for those of us called by grace and faith to be apart of the body...are we ready to accept...ANYONE...despite past mistakes or actions?
consider Paul...he was notorious for persecuting Christians and yet...however when he turned to Christ...and began to declare the gospel..he was accepted...to an extent
by those he was accepted by...he became a brother and they did their best to protect and care for him..
are we doing the same?
idk..honestly i feel as though we think we are accepting...non-judgmental..but our actions and attitudes show otherwise..
would we love and take care of the former murderer as we would our other brothers and sisters in Christ..
we all fall short dont we? we're all leveled before the cross..sin is sin..
i think im struggling with this..no..
i know i am..especially when it comes to those closest to me..
Mark 6:4 syndrome no doubt..
sometimes i feel as though this way of life...is too hard...too much to live up to...so much to change...so much to be cognizant of..
wow...listen to me...
"we're all leveled at the cross"...right? but why?
because of Amazing Grace..only by grace...grace and faith are we saved..
that's it.
not by works.
i remember one thing that Juheon said during fg..."there's nothing you can do to make God love you more and nothing you can do to make God love you less"
He loves us regardless..
i'll end there..
something to ponder on..
kisses for yooouuu [muahz!]
-tomisaurus
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